Short dating jokes
She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. " Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. " A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. " The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. About a week later, she’s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! It wasn't five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off, and ravaged me right there on the table!" The doctor says, "I’m sorry, we didn’t realize the pill was that strong!
A: The washing machine doesn't follow you around for two weeks after you dump a load in it! A: Lipstick Q: What should you give a man who has everything? Kissing your girlfriend on the cheek(good) kissing girlfriend in the mouth (awesome) Kissing girlfriend in front of her ex (boss). It's bro's before hoes, not bro's over your girlfriend. Girlfriend: Oh well just because you have a dick doesn't mean you can be one. " Girlfriend: "No." Boyfriend: "Me neither, start cooking." Girlfriend: Ily. Boyfriend : When I Get On One Knee and Make You My Wife. Girlfriend: I want to end up our relationship, I am going to return you everything you gave me.. Once again, she pulled away, got out of the car, and hurried home.She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.Once she's done, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink. Q: What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild? Q: What do you call your ex-girlfriend with Pms and Esp? That way if she doesn't like the slippers she can go fuck herself." Flowers A man comes home with a bokay of flowers for his girlfriend and she says "I guess I'll have to spread my legs now." And her boyfriend asks "Why, don't you have a vase? A: If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet. The second one I called mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what to do. Then the other girl interrupts saying "Hold on a minute. " The girl smiles and says "Yes it is" Rich & Poor A rich man and a poor man are both buying anniversary gifts for their girlfriends. " And the poor man says "I'm buying her a pair of slippers and a dildo.