Red flags for dating divorced men
This is definitely a reason to distance yourself from the person you're dating.
Narcissistic abuse is emotionally and psychologically damaging to their partners and most everyone they interact with." -- Catenya Mc Henry, a journalist who wrote the book "Married to a Narcissist" 7.
"The mind is the most skilled Photoshopper -- it can rationalise anything and paint any picture of anyone, depending on our initial perspective. Communication is key." -- Erika Ettin, a dating coach who founded the dating site A Little Nudge 3. "Run from anyone who attempts to cross a boundary that you have set." Examples: * "You have said you do not want to go further sexually and they insist." * "You say you are not available on Sunday, but they push you to see them." * "You are not ready to have them meet your family members or friends, but they push you." * "They push you to date exclusively before you are ready." * "They want to move in or get married or set up a bank account before you want." * "They try to change the way you wear your hair or your clothes or anything else about you that feels like 'you,' and it makes you uncomfortable." -- Lisa Aronson Fontes, a psychologist who wrote the book "Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship" "When we see that somebody feels entitled to us doing more for them than what is equal in a relationship, that's a huge red flag that they are someone who uses people. Or the person says, 'Well, I can't right now,' when they're not really that busy.
"If you find yourself justifying away what he does or says, even though these feel wrong in your gut, then that's a surefire red flag. "In a good relationship, a couple can and will talk through issues, listening to the other person's point of view and expressing his or her own. It's about expressing how something makes you feel and being heard. "I think [it shows] when we ask somebody for help because we're tired, or we're overwhelmed, or our plate is too full, and that person says, 'Yeah, I'll get to that,' and never does.
They are overly critical about their previous partners. Whatever they have done in previous relationships they are likely to do again.
"This means that if you listen carefully to how your new lover describes his or her important previous relationships and how he or she speaks about their exes, you can learn a lot about how this person is likely to treat you.
This was the case a year ago, when I found myself in Mykonos, flirting with this gorgeous Italian guy and the moment he reached his phone to take my number, I noticed, to my surprise, his little daughter on the screensaver …
"If they could not see anyone before you realistically or make any of these relationships work, they are unlikely to be able to do it with you." -- Elinor Greenberg, a psychologist who wrote the book "Borderline, Narcissistic, and Schizoid Adaptations: The Pursuit of Love, Admiration, and Safety" 8. "You may be in a relationship with an emotional manipulator if you see an emotional double standard in the relationship, experience your feelings being denied, criticised, or dismissed, find yourself 'giving in' to keep the peace, and see your self-esteem diminishing.
They don't care about you and your concerns; they only care about themselves. They don't believe they are wrong about anything, and they will constantly feel victimised, accusing you of attacking them when you're just expressing your feelings in a situation.
"Over time, you may will feel alone, constantly guilty, and you'll even doubt your own self-confidence and self-worth.
When they started dating these other people, they probably saw them as highly desirable and all good.
Now that these relationships are over, these same people are all bad.